NUMBING AGENTS: TV, Video Games, Etc.....

I started writing the other night for my own therapy, realized that I might not want to share with everyone and then decided what the heck.  Who knows maybe someone will gain revelation from sharing....maybe even me :-).

Let's start with my fingers are really sore and so are my feelings but I'm working through both of them.  Last year for Christmas my husband bought me guitar lessons.  It's this deep desire but up until now there hasn't been time or money. When I finally told my husband I made my appointment he whined (yes he whined) and said he wanted lessons too.  So I thought it would be a great idea to make guitar lessons on date night.  Was this a good idea.....not sure yet!

We took our second lesson Tuesday night.  After lesson one I was frustrated that Shawn was learning quickly and then trying to tell me how to do it while failing to realize that we learn in different ways and paces. I kept hearing the little voice say, "you should be excited for him that he is learning so quickly." 

About 5 years ago I spent quite a bit of time picking out a very nice acoustic guitar with a beautiful, rich sound. I tried to learn from someone that is much like my husband; learns quickly and expects everyone else to also.  Then I tried self teaching via DVD and Internet; that was ugly!  I want to hear sounds played on it and I want to be the one to do it.  A few days ago Shawn says, "let me see your guitar."  Yep you guessed it, salt gushed into my open wound as he played it.  OUCH!!  Then tonight at practice the teacher let me stumble along and seeing how Shawn was quite bored, he told him that he was going to challenge him.  In a matter of minutes Shawn learned 4 new chords and 2 strumming patterns.  Unfortunately, the teacher not realizing my internal pain said, "don't worry Bethany you will begin to play like we do", referring to Shawn and him.  Ouch again!! 

Now you may say all the things I heard, "don't let the enemy win", "don't take offense", "your being a self-centered brat" and my favorite "Shawn just became the star student and I should stop taking lessons now."  Then God opened a window for me to peek out of.  I believe it was a window not even from my own house. Fact: My husband has a high IQ and gets bored easy. Fact: My husband hates being pushed to advance and doesn't make it a habit to self push either.  Revelation: This doesn't just apply to playing the guitar. 

With it still raw and rolling around in my brain I started a conversation with Shawn when we got home.  Not always a wise choice but in this instance there was God's grace. First I shared that after the five lessons we paid for are over, we will begin separate lessons so he can advance at his own pace instead of bored at mine. Then I spoke to him about how intelligent he is and how I believe that some of the areas where I don't see passion is because he's bored.  It's that simple!  He smiled and agreed.  After much discussion two things stuck out.  He told me about how all through school he was in the MGT (Mentally Gifted and Talented) courses. Through a course of events he found out he couldn't do what was passionately in his heart so and I quote, "so I surfed my whole senior year instead."  It opened a discussion about the things we use to numb us because we are utterly bored.  We may even think that they are necessary things to relax, let's say a the TV or Video Games but reality is we are using it to check out.  Guys you may even call it your "nothing box" as Mark Gungor calls it.  Either way if we are using it as social alcoholic or drug attic would use it, as a numbing agent to mask the pain or boredem, it's not productive.

Well my sob story has a happy ending.  Shawn is actively researching something he wants to do that will be more engaging that the "numbing agents".  Please keep him in pray as I believe God gave me this window to really start a dialogue in an area where there hadn't been breakthrough before...Praise God!

As for me, I got to face my numbing agent in the process and now I need to deal with it.  I escape into movies. It's numbing to watch someone elses story for a moment when yours doesn't look so appealing. As for my guitar playing abilities, I can only ask God for more of Him as I practice.  He created this desire to play since I was a little, little girl so he'll lead the way. 

As for you, what's your numbing agent?